do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
