my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
