I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
