Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
