rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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