Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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