My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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