It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
