jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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