In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
