And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
