It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
