READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
