Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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