My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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