She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
jump out the window naked night went bad
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
