Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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