My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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