I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
