his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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