As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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