The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
