yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
