I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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