You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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