she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
