you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize