You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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