WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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