We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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