I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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