The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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