i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
