State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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