Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ketchup is God's man juice
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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