ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize