Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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