There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
