Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What changed your mind?
Being sober
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
