yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
