I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
