You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
