Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Boobs speak an international language.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
