I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The feeling are messing with the penis
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
