she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We're too hungover to prance.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
