Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish my penis had a tongue
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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