what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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