It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
