Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
