who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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