I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's shark week go big or go home
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I need to align my fucking chakras
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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