Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
