You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
