He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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