I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
