eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So much rum. So many feels.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize