**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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