"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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