I'm going to jail i love you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
